Finding the Perfect Fit

In many ways a wedding ceremony is the most important piece to a wedding. It is the sole reason that all of your friends and family are joining together to celebrate you and your fiance! When you get engaged you are agreeing to make a commitment to one another through a marriage ceremony. Making this ceremonial commitment is the catalyst that inspires all of the fun and functional aspects to your wedding day. It is important to find an officiant that will perform a ceremony that aligns with your values and beliefs. The officiant you choose plays such a pivotal role. 

 Here is a little guide to help you feel confident in your choice! 

This guide is split into 3 sections: 

1. Things to consider prior to booking a wedding officiant
2. Questions to ask a potential wedding officiant
3. How to maximize your officiants services

THINGS TO CONSIDER PRIOR TO BOOKING A WEDDING OFFICIANT

1. Officiants are called many things. A wedding officiant is a person who is legally certified to conduct a wedding ceremony. It can be a religious leader, a non-denominational ordained professional, or an ordained friend/family member. Some of the most common names for officiants are:
   1. Officiant
   2. Celebrant
   3. Justice of the Peace
   4. Any religious leader (i.e. Preist, Rabbi, Preacher, Pastor, etc.)
2. Any person can officiate your wedding, but they must be ordained in order to legally marry you. In order for your marriage to be legal, whoever is your chosen officiant must be ordained PRIOR to your ceremony. Becoming ordained is very simple and FREE! This is awesome news if you are wanting a friend/family member to officiate your wedding, but it is also a great reason to vet any person claiming to be a professional. Since it is so simple to gain this license, it is very important to read reviews, gather a sample script, have a clear understanding of the exact services they will provide, and ensure your personalities mesh well before signing any contracts. 
3. Some places of worship will require you to use their religious leader. If you find a ceremony venue that is not your usual place of worship, you may have to use their-in-house worship leader to perform your ceremony. This is most commonly an issue if you are hosting your wedding out of town and wish to fly your own religious leader in to conduct your wedding ceremony. So be sure to confirm with your ceremony venue prior to booking that this is okay! If you intend to get married at a place of worship, confirm their policies on outside vendors prior to booking to avoid potentially losing a deposit. 
4. Certain religious leaders require both you and your fiance to be officially baptized into their faith. It is most common that when a couple comes across this issue they are prepared for it. That being said, there are a couple important things to note on this topic:
   1. Just because some or most religious leaders of a certain faith require this, doesn’t mean that all leaders in your faith will. Finding someone who will do this may prove a challenge for certain religions, but they are out there so keep digging!
   2. Families from you & your fiance’s side may have opinions on the way the ceremony is conducted, or religious aspects that need to be included. The best advice on this is to make your families feel heard by addressing their reasoning for wanting you to include certain religious aspects incorporated into your wedding, but ultimately remember and remind them that this is YOUR wedding and YOUR commitment, not your family’s. 
5. Some religious leaders require premarital counseling with them. Premarital counseling or classes are not a bad thing! They provide the opportunity to gauge how “on the same page” you and your fiance are by encouraging you to discuss your visions and plans for some of life’s common and major milestones prior to making a major commitment. However, you may not find counseling or classes necessary in your unique situation and these services almost cost additional money. Check with your counseling or classes, you may still want to consider doing this! There are plenty of professionals out there offering premarital counseling completely separate from officiating services. 
6. Most wedding ceremonies are customized by the officiant based on the couple they are intended for. The officiant will write your wedding ceremony script. Many couples, especially those opting out of full religious ceremonies will choose to write their own wedding vows. Aside from the vows, the officiant will plan the rest of the speaking. They usually include a little background on themselves, why they were chosen to officiate, an anecdote about the couple, and some words of wisdom to the couple. Make sure you find someone who you trust to write a beautiful ceremony that will put you and your guests in the commitment mindset! 
7. If you choose a friend or family member to officiate, choose wisely! Choosing a significant person in your life to lead your wedding ceremony is a great way to add a level of personalization to your wedding. This is also a great way to save money, since becoming ordained online is free! If you are exploring the possibility of asking a friend or family member to officiate your wedding, there are a few key characteristics to consider before signing them up.
   1. Are they a good public speaker?
   2. Will they respect the significance of the ceremony?
   3. You want an officiant, not a character. 
   4. How likely is this person to adequately prepare for our wedding ceremony?
   5. Make sure they are up for the task.

QUESTIONS TO ASK A POTENTIAL OFFICIANT

The Basics –

1. Are you legally certified to marry people within MY STATE? 
2. Are you available on my date?
3. Can you work within my budget?
4. Do you require a deposit? How much?
5. When is the balance due?
6. What is your preferred method of payment?
7. What is your cancellation policy?
8. What is your rescheduling policy?
9. What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to last minute conflict?
10. Are there additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. 
11. Are you insured? 

Experience & Style Information – 

1. How long have you been officiating weddings?
2. How many weddings do you typically officiate a weekend?
3. How do you identify religiously?
4. If you identify with a certain religion, how much of that religion is incorporated into the ceremonies you deliver?
5. If you don’t identify with any religion, can we still request a few mentions of God in our ceremony?

The Ceremony Details – 

1. Do you have a set ceremony script or will you customize our ceremony for us?
2. How do you create and customize our ceremony?
3. Are we allowed to have input certain aspects of our ceremony?
4. Can we write our own vows? Can you guide us with this? 
5. What do you usually wear to a wedding ceremony?

Pre-Wedding Access & Requirements – 

1. How many times will we meet before our wedding?
2. Will you attend our ceremony rehearsal?
3. Will you lead our ceremony rehearsal?
4. Do you offer or require premarital counseling? Is this an additional fee?

HOW TO MAXIMIZE YOUR OFFICIANTS SERVICES

1. Communicate your vision for the ceremony clearly. Whether you want long, short, deeply religious, no mention of religion, etc. let your officiant know! Be clear about your expectations so they can make adjustments accordingly.
2. Meet with your officiant and tell them about yourselves! In order for a ceremony to be personal, the officiant needs the opportunity to get to know you and your fiance. When you meet with your officiant, give them some details about how you met, some important chapters in your relationship’s history, and a good idea of who you are as individuals and a couple. 
3. Do some research on your own into wedding ceremonies. Not only will this help you find things you want to incorporate into your own ceremony, but it will also give you an idea of things you don’t want included in your ceremony. Even if you don’t find anything you’d like included verbatim, you may find general ideas or even smaller ceremonies to incorporate into your overall ceremony. 
4. Write your vows and share them with your officiant. Some officiants will offer feedback on your wedding vows. If they do, take advantage of this service! Make sure your words are coherent and cohesive to a third party and will fit into the time you have chosen to allot for your overall ceremony. 

Who knew finding and choosing the right officiant could be so much work!? But don’t sweat it, this blog has got you covered at all angles!