Odds are you’ve been at a wedding, or have been a part of a wedding that involved a groomsman, or worse, a groom, that’s gotten a little too out of hand. No shade to you gentlemen, butttt you’re the ones with a little too much time on your hands the morning of wedding day, and we all know you won’t be drinking lemonade to help pass the time! One beer leads into 4 and before noon rolls around, the guys are 6+ drinks deep. The excitement and/or the nerves the day brings makes them go too hard, too fast. Before you know it, you’re trying to sober up the groom before he has to walk down the aisle by force feeding him bread and water to *attempt to* soak up all the alcohol. I may or may not be speaking from experience there. 🙃
Don’t get me wrong, the girls should enjoy a mimosa while getting hair and makeup done in the morning, or everyone be able to have a drink during bridal party photos. Is there a way to have your cake and eat it too? Yes, yes, and yes! Solution: for every alcoholic drink you have during the earlier parts of the day, have a bottle of water to balance it out. As the day gets busy, you in no way are going to remember to drink water (unless you hire an awesome coordinator), so by starting the day off with a higher water intake, the odds are in your favor!…at least for the important events on the timeline. Now, if your drink of choice is a shot of tequila at 9am, that my friend, will not apply to my ‘every other’ rule with water and you’ll be a goner by the time the Jimmy John’s delivery guy shows up with lunch.
To avoid the above scenario, or any rowdy incident in general with the bridal party, set clear expectations with your group ahead of time. Communication is key to discuss responsibilities, timelines, and behavior expectations upfront. Better yet, if you DO have a coordinator, this is a great time to utilize them. They can’t exactly be the ‘bridal party babysitter,’ but they can help create a positive, organized and inclusive atmosphere for everyone involved! They can address any concerns right out of the gate and make sure all expectations are understood from both parties.
I know it can feel awkward bringing up behavior with grown adults, but if you know these individuals behavior patterns from past experience, it’s crucial to discuss how their actions might reflect on your day. Notice the key word there, YOUR day. It’s one day we’re talking about, not a participation in ‘Sober October.’
I know how easy it is to get caught up in a moment and get carried away with things, either as the couple, or as the bridal party. The party bus gets wild and for the final stop, the photographer needs everyone to get off and get a group photo. No one is listening because they’re screaming to “All the Small Things”, and after it’s all said and done, it took an additional 15 minutes to execute the photos. Don’t sweat it! (That’s why we put cushions in our timeline– *read my ‘how to create a wedding day timeline’ blog post to see how to do this). Weddings are supposed to be fun and allow opportunities to create lifelong memories. Allow everyone grace and try your best to foster a supportive and uplifting environment to keep spirits high throughout the day. You never know, if you start loosening the reins, you too could enjoy the *crazy* moment that just might turn into a forever memory.
My advice to couples is this.Don’t sweat the small stuff, designate a best man/maid of honor to keep the group in check throughout the day, and if your bridal party is having *approved and safe* fun, join them! Life is too short to stress about Jarod losing his pocket square when he had to take a bathroom break behind the barn. Flip side, as a groomsman or bridesmaid, give the couple the perfect day they’ve worked so hard for AND paid a lot of money for. Listen when it’s time for photos, put down the beer when asked, and as a general rule of thumb, just don’t act a total fool… or at least wait until the DJ announces an open dance floor. Then, by all means, go hog wild the rest of the night!
📸: Katie Kendrick Photo
📸: Vander Veen Media
📸: Kalamazoo Wedding Co.
📸: Kalamazoo Wedding Co
We are the ‘catch all’ for your event day needs! The Groom’s boutonniere fell off and they need an extra pin? Easy peasy! Taking too long getting those dang loopholes around the buttons on your dress? Girl, don’t sweat it, we have a crochet hook just for that purpose!
